Ask Dirk Diggler! #1
29 May 2000

The road I'm on is so damn rutted that I'm sure that the wildly flailing
speedo/tach assembly will come flying off at any moment. Every bounce into
another furrow in the road is worse than it's predecessor, and I know that by
now the bellypan under the motor has been smashed into millions of pieces and it
and the other parts coming off the bike have been left in a trail behind me like
some 2-wheeled equivalent of the Hansel and Gretel story.  The road (if you can
call it that) is a not often used remnant of what used to be the old stagecoach
trail in these parts, although there hasn't been one of those through here in a
hundred years.   Hell, I thought to myself, there probably hasn't been a
motorcycle through here in about as long. I bounce through several miles of this
stuff, wondering to myself if my bike will ever be the same again. I'm in search of a

potential bonus site for the upcoming ButtLite
Rally though, so I don't really care.......

It's hot......the 100+ degrees kinda hot that makes film-stars like me feel like
we're gonna die.  It's dusty, my camelback is empty and there's all these god-damn

 cows standing in the middle of the trail.  I'm in the middle of nowhere and I'm sure that I
should have taken the fork to the left a few miles back when all of the sudden a
huge gust of wind parts the tall grasses and not 30 feet in front of me a pink
granite marker comes into view.......

I've found what I'm looking for, and had always missed on previous years
attempts.  And it's still not over yet. It's taken me an hour to get to this
place since leaving civilization (and paved roads) and I still have to get back.
"Damn stupid place to have a monument" I say out loud.  In fact, it's a damn

stupid place to have a town.   This probably explains why  everyone left.

But I've found it. I'm here. and the only thing that I feel good about is having
the knowledge that I'm gonna send 65 other riders to this god-forsaken place in
August. And as today is only Memorial Day, I'll be grinning about this one for
the next three months.

Hello there. I'm Dirk Diggler......  I'll be writing this column for the
TeamStrange website at various times in the months proceeding the Y2K Butt-Lite
Rally, when I'm not doing films and such. I mean Hey!, when it comes to making a
decision between helping these TeamStrange clowns or gettin' a hoover, my
creative thoughts go out the window. Anyway, in my capricious writing style, I'm
going to take some time to walk you through what goes through the mind and
dealings and schemings of a someone helping to put on an endurance rally. This
ride ain't your grand-dads poker run, and they never claimed it was. When you
follow these and other stories on the event, hopefully you'll come away with a
better understanding of what the putting on these types of events are really
like   Or maybe you won't think any such thing.............. ever.............
..........well, irregardless (and that's one of those stupid Minnesota words)
..........I hope you like it ...........................any questions???
please feel free to contact me at:

               askdirkdiggler@hotmail.com

Hope to hear from you soon.........and Roller-girl sends her love...

 

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