August 30, 2000: BL2, BBQ and Baton Rouge
When we last left off, your
Rallymasters hoped to both find Baton Rouge and score some fine Sonny’s
BBQ. Happily, we were successful on
both counts, though not without the expected bit of difficulty.
Things actually got off to
a good start. Keith Collins, our rally
chauffeur, piloted the Buick 2.5 miles from the first bonus at the AMA Museum
to Ed’s house, and then promptly crawled into the back seat to begin working
on our sleep bonus. Eddie and I calculated
our route to the first checkpoint at Hebert
Cycles and settled into work mode. While
Eddie drove, I fired up the laptop. Fortunately,
we were able to complete these tasks without waking Keith.
Our teamwork began to pay off: had the route sheet allowed, Keith could
have earned several consecutive sleep bonuses.
Last year I bemoaned the fact that many of our riders got more sleep
on Leg One than I did. One year later,
I can tell you two things. History
repeats itself, and Keith is worth every cent we’re paying him.
Our quest for Sonny’s was
not as easy. Using advanced wireless
technology, we accessed
the restaurant’s web site, and plotted a course to the closest available
source of hickory-smoked heaven. A short time later, we found what was once our chosen Sonny’s now
comprised a vacant building with a big CLOSED sign out front. Our spirits
sank. We had already passed on several
other BBQ options (including one place Eddie only remembered for how crappy
it was), pinning our porcine hopes on the Big S.
In other words, the BBQ bug had bit bad. We were not leaving town without our pig.
In search of local intel,
Eddie pulled the Buick into a gas station around the corner from the former
site of our desires. “Know of any good
BBQ around here?” I asked the local manning the counter. “Sonny’s is right around the corner,” he
offered. Only a feeling of pity for
future pilgrims compelled me to take the time to convince this fellow of
Sonny’s demise. Ultimately, we settled
for pleasurable, but by no means perfect forms of pork at The Other Available
Alternative, and continued south.
We arrived at Hebert and
found TeamStrange staffers Chuck and Carol Banks had the place hopping. The parking lot was cordoned off, food and
beverages were set out for the riders, tables for route planning were in place,
and a scoring area had been laid out.
We set up shop and waited for some action.
We did not have long to
wait. Bill Davis, riding the mongrel
Harley, rumbled in to cheers from the waiting crowd. He seemed surprised when we told him that many handicappers had
predicted his bike’s early demise. “The
bike has already been to Daytona and Sturgis this year,” he told me. “Don’t worry about the bike. It’ll make it if the rider does.” We’re not the only ones pulling for both.
A line of riders soon stood
before the scoring table, ready to face our inquisition. Many riders were again reminded of the
importance TeamStrange places on reading comprehension. One bonus sent riders to Hamilton, Ohio,
site of the memorial to Captain John Simms, proponent of the hollow earth
theory. Riders were to photograph the monument, and also identify the state
from which Simms came. Rider after rider took the photo but failed to answer
the question contained in the bonus. We
again fearlessly predict that the winner of this event will come from that pool
of riders who have chosen to read the route sheets.
(In case you are wondering,
Captain Simms hailed from New Jersey.
One can hardly blame the local residents for advising visitors that
Simms wasn’t a local boy, though this act certainly begs the question of why
the monument was ever placed.)
Other riders fell victim to
their lack of paperwork. The most
amusing example is illustrated by the bonus at Mount Airy, North Carolina, which
formed the basis for Andy Griffith’s Mayberry RFD. To earn the bonus, riders had to present a photograph of
themselves eating a pork sandwich at the Snappy Lunch or getting their hair cut
at Floyd’s Barbershop, along with a receipt.
Many riders, including veterans Ron Ayres, Gary Eagan and Bill Newton
enjoyed their visit to Mayberry, but forgot their receipts. Kerry Church apparently decided he was
neither hungry nor in need of a haircut, and opted instead for a gas receipt
and no points. Bob Corio was so focused
on insuring that Nels Gebben and Mark Kiecker remembered their sandwich
receipts that he forgot his own.
Occasionally bonuses matched
well with the riders that chose them.
Doug Stout and his 250 Ninja seem to us to go well with the giant statue
of Superman in Metropolis, Illinois. As
Eddie observed, “Sometimes you’ve got to go there to be there.”
One rider was time barred,
due to a peculiar combination of mechanical difficulty and unconventional
navigation. Brian Burdette’s K75 experienced
battery difficulties that delayed his arrival at the Checkpoint. Brian’s difficulties were compounded by the
fact that he had significant trouble locating Hebert Cycles. Much valuable time was wasted while Brian
motored around Baton Rouge, searching for his fellow competitors. Brian’s task was made substantially more
difficult by his decision to store the provided directions to the Checkpoint in
his bike’s trunk, leaving valuable space in the tankbag’s map pocket for other
items. At least Brian will have some
time on the next leg to refine these logistical issues.
Promptly at 1300, route
sheets were distributed and riders quickly retired to consider their
options. We used the time to upload
rally results, answer last minute questions and secure the all-important
directions to the Baton Rouge branch of Sonny’s. There was no way we were leaving the south without our fix. Fortunately, Leon and Mike’s directions were
as perfect as their hospitality to our riders.
If you haven’t had the opportunity to become familiar with this
top-notch BMW-Ducati shop, you are missing something special.
The rest of the riders will
be busy choosing between many intriguing bonus possibilities. The most devilish of these allows riders to
photograph as many of the mile markers
along I-10 in Texas as they can stomach, for a cool five points per photo.
Imagine the possibilities for psychological warfare: the first rider
that encounters another competitor actively engaged in documenting mile markers
will certainly begin to doubt their plan to chalk this bonus up to the Rallymasters’
twisted sense of humor. We have already
heard reports of Wal-Mart drop shipping extra film to its Texas stores.
With over 800 mile markers to choose from, dedicated riders will certainly
be adding film to the shopping list.
The “Oh My God” route offers
a religious theme including several of the world’s tiniest churches, a visit
with the tolerant, GLBT friendly folks at the Focus on the Family rest stop,
and a trip up “Oh My God Road.” Riders
wishing to make a statement might choose a more westerly path and visit the
Golden State, where Pat Widder and a visit to Point Reyes Station await. This route also features the opportunity to
traverse Los Angeles during prime time, and is not for the faint of heart.
A BL5K favorite bonus reappeared
on this leg thanks to the generosity of Jennifer and Larry Hilderbrand, owners
of the Live Oak Resort.
The Live Oak, a family-friendly, clothing optional paradise located
near Navasota, Texas, is well known for its motorcycle-friendly attitude. In exchange for a minimum one-hour stay, riders
would receive 675 points. Many riders
opted to stay longer, in order to better avail themselves of Jennifer and
Larry’s legendary hospitality. Riders
were offered tasty meals, cabins for showers or sleep, and full run of the
facilities. After visiting this bonus
on the way to Salt Lake, I am convinced we may never get some of our riders
to leave. While on a tour of the resort,
Eddie and I found Doug Stout had discarded his now-optional clothing, and
was relaxing in the pool discussing issues of the day with some of Live Oak’s
more attractive female guests. We
can only hope Doug doesn’t take this Superman thing too seriously. TeamStrange will certainly be back to Live
Oak, if only to check on the riders that decided to give up on the rally and
move into heaven on earth forever.
If you haven’t yet done so,
please take a look at the Rally
Results to date. Don Sills, the quiet Kentucky gentleman riding a Venture, currently
holds down first place thanks to a masterful run through the difficult “D”
route. Todd “Harley Trash” Witte and
MN2K winner Nels Gebben round out the top three. Gebben is apparently again teaming with Mark
Kiecker, a BL5K favorite who won MN2K Expert class this year. The pair was allegedly planning a big ride
for leg two.
A number of riders may be
poised for a jump in the standings. Ron
Ayres is again exhibiting his familiar methodical approach to rallying. Gary Eagan and his ST2 appear to be adapting
well to less familiar eastern conditions, and turned in a good ride while
battling the flu. Bubba Kolb, who
stormed through the MN2K from start to trophy time, is biding his time in 10th
place. Bubba hasn’t called to harass us
on the voicemail, which can only mean he’s turned his attention from Eddie to
more worthy pursuits. I’d also keep an
eye on Family Stephans. The Younger has
something to prove after an early departure from BL5K, while the Elder isn’t
afraid of pure saddle time, a key ingredient to BL2 success. Howard Stueber looked tired at the
checkpoint, but planned on resting up at Live Oak. Howie is a fierce competitor and remains a threat.
If you are looking for predictions
from us, forget it. Though we moved
the dates of the rally to avoid the July heat, riders are currently facing
temperatures in the high nineties. Some
riders battle mechanical problems. Flat
tires have temporarily sidelined Rob Nye and Ahmet Buharali. BL5K winner Eric Jewell’s rented BMW no longer
has an operating odometer. Repair
efforts are reportedly underway, but the impact of the breakdown cannot yet
be determined.
As for your Rallymasters, we
remain mostly on course for Salt Lake.
Eddie and I finally talked Keith into taking the wheel, after which we
promptly fell asleep. Working without
adequate supervision, Keith soon took a shine to the Kansas Turnpike. If Eddie hadn’t woken up after we nearly
missed that guardrail, we’d probably be back in Minneapolis by now.
Questions fill the staff car. Can Don Sills hold the lead? Will local knowledge benefit Texas riders like Allen Dye and Ron Ayers? Can the Kiecker/Gebben partnership endure blistering heat and long miles? Did Doug Stout ever put his clothes back on? As it sits, we’ll hit Perry Motorsports sometime early tomorrow morning, with plenty of time to prepare for the 1700 checkpoint. Until then, the Buick rolls west, and we wait and wonder with the rest of you.
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