Mail CallAugust 11 2006 at 10:07 AM |
Dirk Diggler | |
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Dirk takes a moment and responds to some letters we got. > >Hey Rallymasters, > >I was wondering if TeamStrange had posted the official BLIIII >Rally Poem yet, or if it would be read at the start or finish banquets? >Also, any truth to the rumor that you’re looking at a special >ButtLite IIII interpretive dance? If so, who’s the dancer? > >Gus Paulson > Hey Gus-to, Not sure if you saw the announcement, but the entire BLIIII Rally was decreed a poetry free zone some time back. We didn’t feel a need to bore riders to tears with some poetry that no one wanted to hear anyways, so we left it out. In fact, our plan is to give every rider free beverages at the Two Rivers after the event (and truthfully now, which would you rather get for your rally $$). As far as the interpretive dance, why don’t you slip on a pair of tights and c’mon down and put on a show? Hey, it worked for that Gorbachev fellow (and the ladies DO love a man in tights……). See you in Niobrara, dancer-boy, Dirk-o-matic > >Hey Dirk, > >Will there be more than 1 leg on the BL Rally? >Just wondering how this gets decided? >Do you guys need a wine-buyer? If so, I’m your girl. > > >Luv ya, > >Wammy Tonchena > Hey Wammy, There’s a bunch of legs on the rally—unfortunately the riders sometimes find themselves way behind schedule—and without a leg to stand on. I don’t know how it gets decided. I was out filming Hot Naughty Babysitters XVII when the schedule was set. And hey---I thought you already were my girl….bummer Dirk. Lurleen Lumpkin wrote: > >Hey there Mr. Diggler, > >I was trying to meet that Rev. Eddie TeamStrange guy, but >I’m getting’ concerned that he might not be really interested in me. >Is there anything special that guys like that I can do to attract them? >I mean my last few men had nice trucks and all but I’m looking for a >long-term guy to date. When I put my man’s Christmas gift on Lay-a-way >at the Mega-Lo Mart in October, I want to know he’ll still be around >to receive it in December when I get it paid for. Help! > >Have a nice day, > >Lurleen > Hey Lurleen, I think a special, fine-sounding woman like yourself would be a great conquest…..er, I mean catch. What you need is a few special “tutoring” sessions with the Dirkster, and you’ll come out of it with a whole new feeling of confidence and the knowledge to have any man you want—you might even realize that the guys you were attracted to before probably weren’t good enough for you! My exhaustive course will cover all different topics and leave you feeling much more open to new ideas. Heck, I’ll even guarantee that I can spend a couple hours at your place and make you forget all about that Rev. Eddie fella! Have your people contact mine to arrange a time for you. Just trying to help, Dirky, Bob “498” wrote: > >Dear Dirkster: > >I’m hoping you can help me out with a l’il problem I gots here. > >Out here on the So. Dak. prairie, I’ve got my own piece of “equipment” >that ain’t exactly the biggest spread around (you know what I mean). >While I sure wish the ‘ol silo were bigger, I’ve always subscribed >to the “it ain’t how wide a furrow you can plow, but more important >is the factor of the tractor” belief if you catch my drift. > >Lately our local corn-fed gals aren’t exactly lettin’ me have >much reason to bring out the ol’ pitchfork, you know? > >What to do? Should I just settle for just being me like the good >book says? Should I spend the $$ and get one of them bigger combines >like the ads in Hoardes Dairyman are always talkin’ about? >What to do, what to do? > >Bob “Johnson” Johnson Hey there Bob, First off, the Dirkster salutes those out there keepin’ the farming process going. Between the winter wheat, daily milkings, and the summer rally schedule, it’s amazing that you guys have any time left for R&R. On a regional note, I’d suggest contacting my buddy Shannon in your area of SD. Shannon may be a city boy, but the word is that he packs quite a wallop in the lady-department. He’s just created another l‘il Shannon lately, and the fact that he’s willing to be seen in public on a Moto Guzzi means he’s obviously got no issues with his manhood (you know what I mean). I bet he can give you some pointers. As far as the romance part, I’m afraid I can’t help you out. I mean about the only farm reference I can relate to was watchin’ Uncle Gary on the farm in Indiana one summer as he was trying to force a big ol’ mule into a stall that was much too stall. Y’all probably can’t relate to that, I guess….. Come to think of it, I might want to get a Guzzi too…. Hang well, Dirkster |
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