Random Musings from the Back of the Staff VanAugust 11 2006 at 3:09 PM |
David E. B. Smith | |
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I'm writing this from the wayback of the Butt Lite IIII Staff Van as we tear across Texas, taking full advantage of the new 80 mph speed limit on I-20 to get to the next checkpoint well in advance of the riders on the rally. Especially those who looked completely toasted at the Tombstone checkpoint and might just decide to scale back their ambitions on this leg in the hopes there will be something big to follow Atlanta that they can go all out for. Or, perhaps not. Yes, I've been demoted from shotgun seat to the wayback of the van. For that rider at the Two Rivers who was wondering where his rally fees went, allow me to describe the life of luxury that Your Rally Staff is living. John, Eddie and I have been sharing the inside of a rented Dodge minivan for four days now. I am currently ensconced in the far back part of the van, in a little cubbyhole surrounded by route sheets, a laser printer, a huge box of miscellaneous stuff, and several bags and suitcases, at least one of which contains Eddie's dirty underwear, and all of which teeters with the exaggerated body roll of the back of this crappy van. In the front seat, each of us has his own personal choice of entertainment for his driving shift, so there's a rat's nest of wiring entangling Eddie's iPod, my XM radio, John's box of CDs, and a GPS receiver that flings itself off the dashboard in every hard corner, of which there are many. In the middle seat area, among the ice cream sandwich wrappers and soda cans that accumulate there in between John's cleaning runs, we have an inverter to power Eddie's laptop and cell phone. The inverter shuts itself off with some frequency, which usually results in Eddie flinging his cell phone somewhere in the van, and then Eddie having to crawl around and over the seats to find it. Eddie also has a wireless internet card in his laptop, which takes turns with his cell phone at dropping the connection. I'm eagerly awaiting the day that Eddie flings his laptop out the van window. Oh, and you experienced long-distance riders know how the inside of your Aerostich and helmet smell after a multi-day rally? Well, this is an Aerostar, not an Aerostich, but there's three unshowered, unshaven guys inside it, and our odiferous funk is keeping pace with that of the rally riders. (OK, nitpickers, the Staff Van is a Caravan, not an Aerostar, but that doesn't work, does it? To paraphrase The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, when the ride tale is better than the truth, print the ride tale.) - - 0 0 - - I've titled this post "Random Musings". That's what a newspaper columnist does when he can't think of a theme that he can write one big column about, and deadline is approaching, so he collects a bunch of unrelated jottings and unfulfilled story ideas from scraps of paper around the office, links them together with a funny little symbol to cover up the lack of transition or connection between them, and calls it "Random Musings". Amazingly enough, people not only get away with this, but some get rich doing it, - - 0 0 - - At one point during the scoring at Tombstone, Bob Hall, 2001 Iron Butt Rally winner and guest scorer, called out "Next!" Neither of the two riders who were standing there moved. Bob added, "Whichever one speaks English!" Neither of the two riders who were standing there moved. It was then observed that the two riders were Jim Winterer and Fergus Hand. The consensus was that neither Minnesotan nor Irish-Canadian-whatever qualifies as English, so we picked Jim to go next. Yah, you betcha. - - 0 0 - - An observation on rally time management: Riders could get scored at the Tombstone checkpoint starting at 3 pm. The checkpoint closed at 8 pm, at which time the route sheets for the next leg were handed out. If a rider got to the checkpoint before 6 pm, there was no penalty deduction. And when a rider arrived at the checkpoint, he or she was handed a key for a motel room, to which he or she could immediately retire to do whatever needed to be done. So. Was there a better or worse time to go to the scorer's table? Think about this. If a rider was at the checkpoint before 3 pm, the rider was best off getting scored right at 3 pm. Then the rider had almost 5 contiguous hours, until the next route sheets were handed out at 8 pm, to sleep, eat, fix his or her bike, or whatever. On the other hand, if the rider got to the checkpoint much after 3 pm, the rider might want to wait to head to the scorer's table until right before 8 pm. Riders got their time-in recorded in the parking lot when they arrived, so once they were in, they were in. If the rider arrived at, say, 5 pm, he or she might have been better off waiting until 7:45 to wander to the scorer's table. The rider would then have almost 3 hours free. On the other hand, if a rider went right over and got scored, he or she would spend time waiting around for scoring, which breaks up that big 3 hour chunk of time into smaller chunks of time. Big chunks of time are precious on a multi-day rally, and any one a rider can get, that rider should take. Just something to think about. Just the kind of thing successful rallyists think about. - - 0 0 - - The Staff Van dropped way down in the standings when the real riders came in at Tombstone, so we've decided to cheat even more aggressively and blatantly to increase our position in the standings. So we're taking the Kafka bonus because Eddie has a Kafka shirt (some nice foreshadowing at the opening banquet, eh?), every bonus that's near any town we're driving through or near, and the Elmore James bonus cause one of his songs came on XM while we were driving along. - - 0 0 - - And on the topic of time management strategy, wouldn't it be smart, as soon as you get your new route sheets at a checkpoint, to run out and get a receipt before you start your route planning for the next leg, just in case you spend so much time planning, or planning and sleeping, or sleeping, that it makes sense to take your rest bonus right then? Instead of sitting in the hotel room for 3 hours, planning or sleeping, not getting anything for that stationary time, on the assumption that you'll take the rest bonus somewhere later? After all, we all know what happens when you ASSume. Why not take it and get it over with and have the points in hand? - - 0 0 - - Speaking of receipts, Ira Agins pointed out at Tombstone that Don Bordeaux, who has about a 125 mile range on his bike, came in with 31 gas receipts for the first leg, and every one of them was a perfect receipt - location, time, date, gallons, computer printed, and correct. The riders who can't seem to find acceptable receipts, maybe we should tell them to follow Don arounf for a while. - - 0 0 - - As of the time that we left Tombstone, poor rider # 38 still hadn't picked up his or her rally flag from the Schifflein Monument outside Tombstone. (And such an enjoyable ride out there, too - just ask Joe DeRyke). We in the Staff Van are looking forward to seeing Rider # 38's happy face appearing in all his or her bonus photos for the rest of the rally. |
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